Make Donald Drumpf Again!

I'm big on guns, believe me. I will protect our Second Amendment. It doesn't matter who gets guns because once they kill someone, what can you do? But people should have guns because someone needs to shoot Hillary Clinton, Second Amendment people.

I will quickly and decisively bomb the shit out of ISIS. I know more about them than the generals do. Hillary Clinton and Obama (Muslim) founded it in the year 49. In order to stop terrorists, we need to be terrorists to terrorists.

All I know is, all Muslims need to be banned. We can't have them in this country because every single one of them are terrorists. All of them. We can't let a single one in this country. As for the Mexicans, they're criminals, drug dealers, and rapists. Some, I assume, are good people, but not all of them are. So, we'll build a stupid-ass $25 billion wall separating us from them that I'll somehow get them to pay for.

Oh, it doesn't matter that my tax returns from 1995 show that I lost $916 million. What matters is that I'm going to deport immigrants who pay more taxes than I do. They're setting a bad example. Not paying taxes makes me smart, believe me.

We should only let tough people in the military. We can't let in any weaklings with PTSD into the military. Suicides are only done by the weak and if you're a woman entering the military, don't blame yourself when you get raped. Meanwhile, during drafts for the Vietnam War, I avoided it with five deferments and an ouchie on my foot. But at least I got a medal for tidying up. And this shows you that I have a place in calling war veterans weak.

Women have no choice. They need to have their baby. I'm working on the death penalty for when a woman chooses abortion.